This is stupid.

So stupid, in fact, I compare it to the old joke about a little boy who goes to school with a five dollar bill. He brags to his friend he has one five dollar bill and is offered three one dollar bills in trade. “Three is more than one!” the friend tells the first boy.

And the kid makes the trade. And throughout the day he keeps trading down like that for more of less.

In the frustrating days of the late 1990’s and early Double-Oh’s – you saw just this happen in trades. Something great traded for more of less. For a team rebuilding, it sort of made sense. While there were hits, there were more misses and that was why fans were not endeared to Rick Dudley…

But when the dominoes started to fall on the more-of-less in this situation, we started with a top pair defensiveman (Dan Boyle), traded him for a young up and coming D-man and a first rounder (Matt Carle), then traded Carle for Eminger and trash-considerations in Steve Downie…

And now we get Noah Welch and a 3rd rounder for Eminger…? You’ve traded Dan Boyle for Welch and a 3rd rounder (after dealing away the draft pick already for a sub-par D-man)??

This is insane.

And I apologize profusely to Noah Welch. I apologize for coming down on him indirectly like this when I have never seen him play and don’t know his future. I apologize to him because this post comes off like a judgment about his abilities when in fact, it’s a judgment of the braintrust (I use that term as loosely as possible) of the Tampa Bay Lightning.

And then again, he just became a piece of one of the most jumbled puzzles of transactions in NHL history. That’s not his fault. That’s the fault of the upper brass who don’t seem to want the fans to understand what they are doing. I’m not talking cliché “happy to have him on the roster and he has great abilities” talk. I’m talking big-picture direction of the franchise talk… What’s-the-plan-going-forward talk. Talk that’s been missing while each and every roster move causes more anxiety, and every lingering rumor seems akin to a bad dream.

The Tampa Bay Lightning have fired head coach Barry Melrose; Associate Coach Rick Tocchet has been elevated to interim head coach.

Is there anyone, anyone at all, at OK Hockey interested in stability? Cohesion? I can understand a sense of urgency, but when urgency and immediate dividends are all that’s looked upon with a sports franchise… well, it becomes just a fantasy-sports-franchise, playing in reality.

Dan Boyle? Given a big contract and long term commitment last spring. Traded for Carle and more last summer…
Carle? Trade for spare parts.
Tortorella? Fired in favor of Melrose and his old school style (and mullet).
Melrose? Fired two months into his return to NHL coaching. 2 months that were preceded by a short and volatile training camp that took place on two continents and in an extremely short duration.

People have joked about the idea of Melrose being the new head coach when the rumors started swirling last spring. So maybe this should be looked at as the correction of a mistake. But honestly, it looks more like a continuing guessing game at Times Palace… Where no one is sure of the next move; what it should be and what it should bring

Gentlemen… How can I put this simply without offending the majority of my readers? How can I put this lightly? How can I phrase this in such a way that it gets through that I am concerned (as are many other long time Lightning fans)?

Ah, I’ll censor myself in asking the following:

What the @!$% are you Doing?!?

For the second time this season I’ve seen a promising young defensiveman sent wayward for marginal players in return. That’s not even beginning to address the anarchy of the off season where every player on the market was a target and every player on the Lightning roster was expendable.

This time it was Steve Downie brought in??! What qualities does he bring to the team? What exactly are you looking for on players? Scumbaggery?

Hell, while you’re at it, I bet the Calgary Flames would let Todd Bertuzzi go for the low-low price of Martin St. Louis. You can’t beat a deal like that, right…?!

That’s how you seem to be operating right now. And I hate to tell you this but most of the teams put together in a fantasy hockey have crashed and burned. And in this case, you’re crashing the long term financial payroll of an NHL franchise while you are at it. Oh, you may have the money to spend but there are rules in place that limit the amount you can spend.